I don’t think there is anything more frustrating than when your children argue with each other! It seems at times they will fight over anything at all no matter how silly. For example, a simple comment can be taken up the wrong way and next thing you know there is war erupting in the living room!

With a few helpful tips it can certainly aid the fractious relationship between siblings but truly (fighting amongst siblings) can never be fully eradicated however hard you try! Sometimes you just got to roll with it and do your best!

Boredom

In our house a lot of arguments start because the little one is bored and what better way to liven up the house than to cause an argument? She will bump off her sibling purposely and shout “hello” repeatedly into her face! Of course shouting ensues and before you know it, the kids are both in bed alone licking their wounds.

Keeping the kids busy will help. It will get them working together doing chores and let them do something they like after (once they have behaved respectfully to each other).

 

Space
Making sure the older children have some free time and space is needed, especially if they do the odd jobs around the house. Take the younger ones away and occupy them with colouring or drawing so that the others can do their own thing in peace. We all need some time to chill and they will appreciate your understanding and therefore be more obliging with the younger ones if they know they will get “their time” later.

 

Family Rules
Have family rules listed on the fridge/ the wall (there are some really cool wall decals out there for family rules) and also a scheudle of activities / jobs to be done daily by all the kids. A good routine will enable everyone to know where they are and what they can do to help. If Jimmy needs to help Anne with her homework at 4pm and then at 5pm he can play his console before dinner, make sure it is adhered to. It is all about working as a team and for them to realise that if they don’t help, than that is when chaos and arguments unfold and then there is consequences like no T.V. for example.

 

Set Good Example
Lead by example and treat everyone as you like to be treated. Demonstrate how to get along and if there is a disagreement, have a discussion together. Debate the issue as a family and try to offer solutions rather than shout at the kids, if they can sort it out themselves leave them to it. Let them tell you when they have come to an agreement and praise them for being so independent and showing maturity.

 

One to One Time
While spending time as a family is wonderful, try to get some individual time with your children so that they all feel heard. I usually chat to my youngest before her bed time and after she is down and settled, I use the next hour to talk to my eldest and she really enjoys the one-to-one time.  We often do little things like when one has a party or an event we take our other child for a “hot chocolate” just for them! I know it makes mine feel really special getting a treat that's just for them on their own, makes them so happy!

 

Accept that they may not get along all the time but that they do love each other dearly!

 

They just may not realise it yet though!

 

Much love,  FFHQ x